Metafiction essay : Big graduation mischief
So this is the plan:
1. Go into the dormitory and ring the emergency alarm bell of every floor.
2. When all students come out to the soccer field next to the dorm, pour a huge bag of flour at the center of the field from an airplane floating above the space.
3. Then throw some ostrich eggs from the rooftop of the dorm.
4. After that, pour Pasteur milk on top of everything, and make a huge dough.
5. The, like the water fight we do during 'MinjokJae', throw dough balls at each other. Be careful not to hit one's face! This is only the starting step for the "Big Graduation Mischief"..!
6. Then since everyone must have gotten all messed up by the dough, everybody scrapes the dough off their bodies into a huge pile.
7. The executive council takes the dough to the 12th floor of the dorm while everybody washes.
8. After everybody gathers in the gymnasium and the executive council brings in the bread.
9. Then begins the annual dare. Only the people with the most courage, strongest stomach and least rationality attempts at eating the bread baked from the dirty dough.
10. After one student succeeds in eating the bread, the rest of the students eat bread baked by the school bakers. This is the last time they can eat '혼정빵'.
11. Next, since everyone suffered here from some teachers, we should get a chance to reply to them. Go to the lab and build the strongest slingshot possible. Then, visit your "favorite" teachers and go wham their faces with the leftover eggs remaining. What a pleasant surprise! We still have a long way to go.
12. This might be the most important part. It is called "fight or flight". Students should cover their whole body with things that were considered "illegal" or "against the school law". For example, women can wear pants, men and wear skirts and all students can wear ball caps, mufflers, earphones, slippers, colorful socks, and accessories. Of course, it is allowed to dye hair and do full makeup. Party time!!
13. Now that the school administrators have a reason to kick us out, we should prepare for the 'Grand Fight'. The department of the broadcast will first make every electronic device go haywire so that the teachers cannot contact anyone outside for help.
14. The department of school library will bring out all the books from the library to build a barricade.
15. The department of physical education will recollect the slingshots and prepare for a heroic fight.
16. All the other students will build a giant raft that everyone can ride.
17. Make the slingshots work automatically.
18. When the huge raft is completed, let all students ride it and start moving the raft, utilizing the high altitude of the dorm, for the final escape from school as the best ending of our "Big Graduation Mischief".
1. Go into the dormitory and ring the emergency alarm bell of every floor.
2. When all students come out to the soccer field next to the dorm, pour a huge bag of flour at the center of the field from an airplane floating above the space.
3. Then throw some ostrich eggs from the rooftop of the dorm.
4. After that, pour Pasteur milk on top of everything, and make a huge dough.
5. The, like the water fight we do during 'MinjokJae', throw dough balls at each other. Be careful not to hit one's face! This is only the starting step for the "Big Graduation Mischief"..!
6. Then since everyone must have gotten all messed up by the dough, everybody scrapes the dough off their bodies into a huge pile.
7. The executive council takes the dough to the 12th floor of the dorm while everybody washes.
8. After everybody gathers in the gymnasium and the executive council brings in the bread.
9. Then begins the annual dare. Only the people with the most courage, strongest stomach and least rationality attempts at eating the bread baked from the dirty dough.
10. After one student succeeds in eating the bread, the rest of the students eat bread baked by the school bakers. This is the last time they can eat '혼정빵'.
11. Next, since everyone suffered here from some teachers, we should get a chance to reply to them. Go to the lab and build the strongest slingshot possible. Then, visit your "favorite" teachers and go wham their faces with the leftover eggs remaining. What a pleasant surprise! We still have a long way to go.
12. This might be the most important part. It is called "fight or flight". Students should cover their whole body with things that were considered "illegal" or "against the school law". For example, women can wear pants, men and wear skirts and all students can wear ball caps, mufflers, earphones, slippers, colorful socks, and accessories. Of course, it is allowed to dye hair and do full makeup. Party time!!
13. Now that the school administrators have a reason to kick us out, we should prepare for the 'Grand Fight'. The department of the broadcast will first make every electronic device go haywire so that the teachers cannot contact anyone outside for help.
14. The department of school library will bring out all the books from the library to build a barricade.
15. The department of physical education will recollect the slingshots and prepare for a heroic fight.
16. All the other students will build a giant raft that everyone can ride.
17. Make the slingshots work automatically.
18. When the huge raft is completed, let all students ride it and start moving the raft, utilizing the high altitude of the dorm, for the final escape from school as the best ending of our "Big Graduation Mischief".
'Bip, Bip, Bip, Bip" Sara got up as the alarm bell rang. It took Sara more than half an hour to completely get out of the dream. Surprisingly, her dream got more and more clear as time went by. The dream was about the plan of the 'big graduation mischief'.
In the dream, she was the one who leads the annual dare as all the activities were already planned in her head that she had no confusion or hesitancy when she had to put them into action. It was amazing..! Like she received a signal, all those plans were automatically drawn, all the materials were prepared in her dream.
'Maybe because I was always discontented at school, I may have planned all those things out of awareness during the school years.'
Sara went to school without any serious consideration of her previous dream.
As she entered school, every facility of the school made her recall the memory of the 'big graduation mischief' in the dream. After a while, a sudden idea came across her mind. As she's a senior, she thought it would be awesome if she puts all of them into action before her graduation!
After her decision, she knew there're a lot of barriers that interrupt her plans.
Finding a huge bag of flour can be replaced by many small bags of flour. Ostrich eggs, Pasteur milk aren't easy to buy. While considering each factor that might affect her plan, Sara found that it's not that hard to put my plan into action only if she gets permission from the teachers. The most important and serious part was whamming favorite teachers' faces with the leftover eggs. Will there be any teachers who'll allow that?
While considering the possible hardships and trying to solve them, Sara's school years had finished. Sara cried at her graduation ceremony not because she was glad that she's going out of the school and becoming an adult being free outside, but because she couldn't put that big graduation mischief she had dreamed into action.
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As time has passed and Sara became a mother of a girl. She already had met the one who she really loves and earned a stable social status as an employee of a huge company. Her daughter, Katy has grown up and now it's already a time for her to enter high school.
In the dream, she was the one who leads the annual dare as all the activities were already planned in her head that she had no confusion or hesitancy when she had to put them into action. It was amazing..! Like she received a signal, all those plans were automatically drawn, all the materials were prepared in her dream.
'Maybe because I was always discontented at school, I may have planned all those things out of awareness during the school years.'
Sara went to school without any serious consideration of her previous dream.
As she entered school, every facility of the school made her recall the memory of the 'big graduation mischief' in the dream. After a while, a sudden idea came across her mind. As she's a senior, she thought it would be awesome if she puts all of them into action before her graduation!
After her decision, she knew there're a lot of barriers that interrupt her plans.
Finding a huge bag of flour can be replaced by many small bags of flour. Ostrich eggs, Pasteur milk aren't easy to buy. While considering each factor that might affect her plan, Sara found that it's not that hard to put my plan into action only if she gets permission from the teachers. The most important and serious part was whamming favorite teachers' faces with the leftover eggs. Will there be any teachers who'll allow that?
While considering the possible hardships and trying to solve them, Sara's school years had finished. Sara cried at her graduation ceremony not because she was glad that she's going out of the school and becoming an adult being free outside, but because she couldn't put that big graduation mischief she had dreamed into action.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
As time has passed and Sara became a mother of a girl. She already had met the one who she really loves and earned a stable social status as an employee of a huge company. Her daughter, Katy has grown up and now it's already a time for her to enter high school.
"I'm so excited that tomorrow is my first day at high school! Mom, I'm already 18. Only 3 years are left to become an adult and enjoy a college life, I can't wait for it..! Mom, how was your high school years? Please share it to me..!"
As Katy had asked, Sara was lost in thought. She recalled her high school years and could remember the annual dare that she had spent her whole final year in high school.
"The Big Graduation Mischief..!"
Sara ran into her room and brought her diary and opened her the notes she wrote while preparing for the dare when she was 19 years old. Then, Sara and Katy started to read it together.
"Mom, what was the school you've attended?"
"Umm. Korean Minjok Leadership Academy, KMLA for brevity."
"I know my friend whose sister attends there. How about contacting her and putting your plan into action though a long time has passed since your graduation. I can help you!
I could feel how sorrowful you were when you failed your plans, it's shown throughout your writings..!"
Sara's heart started to beat fast. For her, it was like the opportunity she earned because god felt pity for the regret she felt. After the graduation, she tried hard to forget the feeling of regret and after the graduation of a college, because of busy days she had spent to enter a company, she had totally forgotten her dream at high school or maybe, she just oppressed a small signal of the recollection. Now, she got the opportunity again. Maybe she'll be able to put it into action for her juniors.
Katy was a girl of action, just like Sara. She directly called her friend and put Sara on the phone when her sister answered.
"Hello..?"
<< What had happened next.. If you want to read!>>
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.
.
After the explanation on the big graduation mischief, following Sara's notes, that girl answering the phone laughed a lot and soon agreed to help her. But before preparing all the things necessary for the plan, she had to get a permission from the teachers, which was the biggest barrier that Sara couldn't overcome at that time.
"Umm... How're the teachers..? Is there Mr.Kim so far?"
The girl had answered the question with yes, which frustrated Sara, and started to explain how the circumstances at school and the teachers had changed or sustained. Listening to the story, Sara felt more excitement than telling her and planning together for the success of the plan.
An hour had soon passed that Katy had already fallen asleep after a constant complaint on the stories that only the ones who attended KMLA could empathize with.
"Yeah, that teacher was the one I thought as the biggest barrier of my plan. He would definitely not permit us to dare it..! Well... But while talking a lot to persuade him though I failed, I knew he was more openminded than I expected."
"Hmm... It seems like you've earned something more during the process. I think you're one of the graduates who know the school the most. Well... Think about it. Whether you really didn't like school or not."
The bell rang inside Sara's head.
Yes. As you might felt while reading the story, Sara actually loved her high school and memories she gained there. Because she was too young at that time, she thought she disliked her school under the complaints that she had with the hopes for a better school. She did so and spent her time preparing for the mischief because she liked her school.
Moreover, the reason why she could remember her efforts without any bad memories of a fight with teachers is because of the understanding of the teachers. After Sara becoming an adult, an age almost similar with the teachers at that time, she realized that it was just a real MISCHIEF. If she were a teacher, how funny would it be and moreover, how dumbfounded would they be when they listened to the plan..! They might be a bit annoyed by the ideas that a daring young girl came by and asked for the permission for that mischief. But they had listened to her story. They didn't ignore it by telling her it's just a ridiculous plan that can never succeed. They did listen to her story and reacted to it sincerely, by telling her why it cannot become a reality.
Sara told the girl,
"Umm... Well... I knew what you mean. Thank you. And I hope you to enjoy your high school years without spending your time on this stupid plan of mischief. I hope we can meet one day at school..!".
After hanging up the phone call, Sara waked Katy and started to put on makeup and prepare for going out.
"Mom.. Where are you going? Are you done telling her and planning the mischief together? Why are you in a hurry?"
"Katy, I'm visiting my high school. Will you join me?"
As Katy had asked, Sara was lost in thought. She recalled her high school years and could remember the annual dare that she had spent her whole final year in high school.
"The Big Graduation Mischief..!"
Sara ran into her room and brought her diary and opened her the notes she wrote while preparing for the dare when she was 19 years old. Then, Sara and Katy started to read it together.
"Mom, what was the school you've attended?"
"Umm. Korean Minjok Leadership Academy, KMLA for brevity."
"I know my friend whose sister attends there. How about contacting her and putting your plan into action though a long time has passed since your graduation. I can help you!
I could feel how sorrowful you were when you failed your plans, it's shown throughout your writings..!"
Sara's heart started to beat fast. For her, it was like the opportunity she earned because god felt pity for the regret she felt. After the graduation, she tried hard to forget the feeling of regret and after the graduation of a college, because of busy days she had spent to enter a company, she had totally forgotten her dream at high school or maybe, she just oppressed a small signal of the recollection. Now, she got the opportunity again. Maybe she'll be able to put it into action for her juniors.
Katy was a girl of action, just like Sara. She directly called her friend and put Sara on the phone when her sister answered.
"Hello..?"
<< What had happened next.. If you want to read!>>
.
.
.
.
After the explanation on the big graduation mischief, following Sara's notes, that girl answering the phone laughed a lot and soon agreed to help her. But before preparing all the things necessary for the plan, she had to get a permission from the teachers, which was the biggest barrier that Sara couldn't overcome at that time.
"Umm... How're the teachers..? Is there Mr.Kim so far?"
The girl had answered the question with yes, which frustrated Sara, and started to explain how the circumstances at school and the teachers had changed or sustained. Listening to the story, Sara felt more excitement than telling her and planning together for the success of the plan.
An hour had soon passed that Katy had already fallen asleep after a constant complaint on the stories that only the ones who attended KMLA could empathize with.
"Yeah, that teacher was the one I thought as the biggest barrier of my plan. He would definitely not permit us to dare it..! Well... But while talking a lot to persuade him though I failed, I knew he was more openminded than I expected."
"Hmm... It seems like you've earned something more during the process. I think you're one of the graduates who know the school the most. Well... Think about it. Whether you really didn't like school or not."
The bell rang inside Sara's head.
Yes. As you might felt while reading the story, Sara actually loved her high school and memories she gained there. Because she was too young at that time, she thought she disliked her school under the complaints that she had with the hopes for a better school. She did so and spent her time preparing for the mischief because she liked her school.
Moreover, the reason why she could remember her efforts without any bad memories of a fight with teachers is because of the understanding of the teachers. After Sara becoming an adult, an age almost similar with the teachers at that time, she realized that it was just a real MISCHIEF. If she were a teacher, how funny would it be and moreover, how dumbfounded would they be when they listened to the plan..! They might be a bit annoyed by the ideas that a daring young girl came by and asked for the permission for that mischief. But they had listened to her story. They didn't ignore it by telling her it's just a ridiculous plan that can never succeed. They did listen to her story and reacted to it sincerely, by telling her why it cannot become a reality.
Sara told the girl,
"Umm... Well... I knew what you mean. Thank you. And I hope you to enjoy your high school years without spending your time on this stupid plan of mischief. I hope we can meet one day at school..!".
After hanging up the phone call, Sara waked Katy and started to put on makeup and prepare for going out.
"Mom.. Where are you going? Are you done telling her and planning the mischief together? Why are you in a hurry?"
"Katy, I'm visiting my high school. Will you join me?"
Wow. You definitely wrote a lot. That said, it doesn't seem like you planned it enough ahead of time. With this meandering plot that moves from one character to the next, and then the next, and with this sort of passive non-protagonist in the mom... there is lack of rising action here. And structurally it doesn't quite achieve the basics of metafiction. Your writing had definitely improved this semester, however, and I'm happy to see fewer grammatical mistakes being left on the page. That said, you can still look a little closer, and when we were reading these out loud in class I could see that you picked up on some little mistakes. So - as it is very long - and has this optional ending (?), I get the impression you didn't have much of a plan and sort of wandered into this and wrote whatever came to mind. That might not be the case, but it seems that way. Often when writing - the rules of "less is more" and "keep it simple" are the best approaches. As well, I gave similar feedback to Hajin regarding the overall quality of this list of mischief. It's just "okay" and not the best material that could have been chosen from the chainwriting. It's hard to work with and a bit "silly" at best. So - good effort, but lack of planning is what I get from this. In the future, make sure you are prepared to write before you write.
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